Thoughts

I've been doing a lot of thinking in the past few hours I've been awake. Some random, some I can't talk about openly. I just feel a need to get whats on my mind out.

I've been thinking a lot about life. How short it is. How much its taken for granted. How truly special each and every persons life is. How fragile the human emotion is. It's hard, when you're in a position of leadership over youth, to really determine what your actions will actually say to those youth; what kind of example you're being. Every action is watched by somebody, and... I dunno... hard to keep my thoughts straight right now.

I've been helping a few people out emotionally. I've become attached to these people and love them like siblings and want them to be happy above all else. Unfortunately, the reality of life is that people won't be happy all the time, and I can't be the person that will be their only source of happiness. I think everyone needs a hobby. Something they do to just escape the world for a bit; their happy place. Mine happens to be video games and computers. Others may be art or drawing, playing music or sports. Really, mine is anything technical. And honestly, I'm perfectly okay with that.

Another thing I've been thinking a lot about is my future. Not even the distant future, but the next couple years. What am I going to do after I finish school next year? What am I going to do if I go back for another two years? What if my parents end up moving to another city? Would I come back to Fort Mac if my parents weren't here? It's all so complex... I have so many reasons for wanting to stay here but at the same time... I just don't know where life will take me. I have this feeling of helplessness and I really don't like it. I mean... its what I asked God for, to make me helpless... but really, the unknowingness of the future is really catching up to me right now. I don`t know what the future holds for me, and I`m scared.

Well, a few of my thoughts are out now, so I might be able to sleep. G`night. Sweet dreams.

Stuck

And here I am
Stuck in a place
I don't belong
I feel so lost
Like such a mess,
I'm such a mess

Where can I go from this place
There's nothing here to take me
To where I belong,
Which is in your arms
I'll see you in the near future
For this I know

You are a piece of me,
And I will never forget you
Or let you go
But can you please rescue me
Rescue me from where I don't belong

Save me from myself,
Save me from myself
I have nowhere to go
I am all yours

My happiness is in your hands
My sanity is in your hands
My life is in your hands
Never let me go
Don't abandon me here
In this place that I need you most