Fix Me

I downloaded the new Emery album, and while i am not a huge fan of screaming, I love the songs on the album where they're actually singing. This has always been the case with me and Emery. Sort of a love-hate relationship with their music. Anyways. The last song on the album, entitled "Fix Me" really spoke to me. So much so I listened to it 4 or 5 times in a row. And the lyrics, just are so powerful. It's basically a prayer out to God to fix our problems. To fix our broken hearts. To help us control our situations so that they don't evolve into something we can't handle.

To me, this is such a powerful prayer. When I broke up with my ex, I felt so broken inside. I didn't want to end it, but I knew I had to. I felt God was pulling me another direction, and yet it broke my heart. And I let it go for so long that I was so unhappy with everything when it had happened. I had to learn how to relive my life. I had to become who I was, not who I was with her. I needed God to fix my heart before I could do that. And He did. He put friends in my life who cared and were there for me through it all. Those are still my 3 closest friends, one of which I am dating and the other 2 I consider siblings, because I can talk to them about anything and I love them like a brother/sister. Part of the song says "Maybe this will tear me apart, But maybe i'll go back to the start, And honestly I can't believe that this is really happening.", and that's exactly how I felt. But God freed me from that. I am so grateful for everything that my life has become now.

You can hit up the lyrics here: http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/emery/fixme.html
Youtube Link (lyrics only): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS5ibZ4Ctcs

Being Original

So many people these are wanting to be original, I think the meaning of the term has tanked. What is original anymore? As humans, we've categorized everything, given everything a label, a title. I think what more people need to start doing is just being themselves. There's over a billion people in the world. There's no way you can be unique. But, you can be yourself. How do you be yourself? That's just it, people don't know that either. I think its pretty simple, but that's because I'm also pretty independent and live on my own. You just need to do what you want to do, be who you want to be, experience what you want to experience. God gave us wants so that we would have things in life that we enjoy. He gave us the ability to have a life and have fun. Want to buy a new house? Do it! Want to go to Brazil? Do it! Your wants are what make you you. Why try to deny that by always trying to be 'original', because really, that's just confusing.

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Will you be there?

As I had my music on shuffle tonight, the song Will You Be There by Skillet, came on (hit up the lyrics by clicking here), and it just brought me to almost tears. I imagined people just crying out, asking for someone to be there. Everyone has had the one person in their life they thought would always be there, and some of us have had times where we wonder if they'll always be there. It's a tough thought to think, and a tough thought to overcome. There are so many lost people, blaming God for their problems in this world. I put the song on repeat, and listened to it over, and over, and over. Every time the song finished, I found myself wanting to keep listening to it. It's a question we all have, and we need to realize that yes, God is always there. He has died on the cross so we might live. Literally hundreds of thousands are wandering this world lost and confused, not knowing what to do next. What most people don't realize is that God places desires and needs in our hearts, and He wants us to follow them. Many people think that Christians have to bow completely to God and while that is true, it's not that simple. It's not that simple, in a good way. God wants us to be happy, we're His favourite creation. He gave us the right to choose for a reason. He gave us passions for a reason. He gave us the most beautiful planet in the whole galaxy so that we can admire His work and live in it. I constantly find myself asking myself (in my head) whether or not people will be there for me in the future. I try to push these out by remembering that it doesn't matter. God will be there. God will provide. It's not just thoughts that help me sleep at night. They're truths. They're facts. We don't even need to ask God if He'll be there because HE WILL BE. It's not a question! Whenever we feel far away from God that's not His doing, it's our doing. It's something we're doing wrong. Many time in my life I have felt far from God. I don't blame Him. I might have at the time, but I can't now. In no way can I blame someone who is blameless.

On another note, I was looking through Owl City's blog (www.owlcityblog.com and he does a cover of the song In Christ Alone. For people who don't the song, just visit the link. He mentions how it brought him to tears just playing the song on the piano and he spent more time crying then actually recording it. Before reading the post, I listened to the song. It made me feel really upbeat and just... amazing inside. Again, it made me want to cry. 'For I am His, and He is mine' just hits me right in the chest every time. It's so amazing, and so true. I'll embed the song here for listening, because it just hits me in my heart every time and needs to be shared.

Dreams

Everyone has dreams. Its the thing that makes us unique. Everyone has different values and desires. One thing I don't understand is that people think getting married means those dreams go out the window. People should find someone that is willing to help them follow their dreams, someone they can imagine fitting into those dreams. Wanna go to school? You can do that married. You wanna travel? You can do that married. Why bother spending all your money following a dream just so you can want to get married then not afford to. In my mind it just doesn't make sense. I wanna travel, and I plan to do that with whoever I marry. I plan on finding someone that will want to travel with me, who encourages me to follow my dreams. I want someone who has dreams that they're willing to include me in. Just a little thought.

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Ever have that thought...

Have you ever thought that you just can't wait to get married? Almost every little kid has that thought (after the whole girls have cooties stage). Why has our generation, as adults, walked away from that dream? Yes, I understand I'm only 19 but you can't deny the statistics that half of marriages fail. This thought is always on the back of my mind. I don't want it to be, but it is. Its scary for me, because some of my highest goals are to have a family that not only I'm proud of, but is proud of me. I live my life in a way that I think other people respect, and I'm happy with it so far (not that I foresee that changing). I am so happy that I will one day get married and be able to have kids, like, to be able to have that opportunity... its amazing. I don't want to waste it getting involved in a relationship that I want to end. I've only had 2 girlfriends, and I'm still with the second. I'm happy with her. She makes me a better person by inspiring me to be all that I can be. That's what I expect out of a healthy relationship. It feels really good. Yea there's the ups and downs and everyone says that about relationships but its true. Fighting through it just makes people stronger.

I guess all I'm trying to say is to think about why marriages fail. And to do everything you can to avoid that. Its a bad image on modern society, and I for one don't like it.

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